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holding hands here by the ocean

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October 27, 2009 | 11:01pm
Mood: could be better
Music: Carrie Akre - Ruling Feelings

I've been feeling pretty blue lately. I don't really like myself right now. I also don't know what I'm going to do with my life. Teaching? Writing? Nursing? Geology? Who knows?

In an attempt to stave off depression I've been reading quite a bit. I've read 16 books since October 18. That's pretty good I guess. I should probably stop reading and start figuring out what the fuck I'm going to write in November.

I still haven't heard about the job, which probably means I didn't get it. No big surprise there.

I just ran 5 miles in 41:24, a pace of 8:17. Progress.

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Comments {6}

(no subject)

from: euphoric1dr
date: October 28, 2009 05:16pm (UTC)
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ahhhhhh come to taiwan!! please don't feel blue =(
i seriously know JUST how you feel. i honestly think that a major reason i chose to take this year to teach abroad is..i didn't know where the heck my life was going and though i may not be any closer to 'figuring out' things..i'm grateful at least this new experience, you know? and its opened my eyes up a lot..i know this sounds sillly but sometimes i think environment changes can actually be really good, they can help you see what you need to work on and change in yourself. at least for ME that is HUGE because god there's so much crap i need to fix in myself lol. anyway please consider!!

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Adam

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from: aodh
date: October 29, 2009 04:10am (UTC)
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I really am tempted...
yes, I understand completely... that's partially why I wanted to teach abroad - to get away and decide what I want to do. I'm glad things are working for you though, and that things are becoming clear!
I totally agree regarding environment changes... I went to college in a different state/environment because I wanted to do something different, and I never actually wanted to come back here. Now I'm here and... it's exactly as I feared. I'd really like to get out of here, but I just can't warrant it without a job opportunity first... I don't know.

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(no subject)

from: euphoric1dr
date: October 28, 2009 05:18pm (UTC)
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oh and p.s. actually i should say that being here/abroad has really helped me figure out what i am meant to do. i know it sounds maybe overly idealistic and whatnot but i can't emphasize that enough. i know EXACTLY what i want to go back to school for, what degree i really want, what i wish to study...it's all come to make so much sense, i almost laugh out loud and can't believe i didn't see it all this clearly before! just thought i'd share. =)

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Emily

(no subject)

from: some_person
date: October 28, 2009 07:10pm (UTC)
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Sorry you're having such a hard time. I feel your pain every time you write about it... I'm kind of in the same boat. Hopefully something will work out for both of us soon.

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Adam

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from: aodh
date: October 29, 2009 04:13am (UTC)
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Thanks... I've also been reading your posts and I feel for you as well. I'm sure things will work out for the best eventually - we're just taking the long way to get to where we want to be, heh.

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Adam

(no subject)

from: aodh
date: October 29, 2009 04:11am (UTC)
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no, it doesn't sound overly idealistic - sometimes things just click, and I totally get that. What do you want to go back to school for? I'd love to figure out what I really want to do--I just don't know how to get to that point...

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