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In other news, long entry is long.

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April 16, 2009 | 04:55pm
Mood: justified
Music: Two Door Cinema Club - Something Good Can Work

Okay, now that I'm more or less over the last two entries, here's the last week or so: it's been nice and relaxing.

I had no class on Monday, and no homework to do over the weekend, so I had three days to do nothing. It was paradise. I celebrated Easter with a Snicker's bar and chinese take-out (which is better than the last three years, to be honest). I had two classes on Tuesday. Yesterday, my 8:30 class was canceled and I skipped my 2:30 class to work on my paper. Yeah, I barely did anything with it, but whatever. I actually managed to finish my paper at about 5am. It wasn't that bad to write once I actually got started, but I wrapped everything up 2.5 pages early. Oops. I tried to keep writing, but I literally exhausted my topic. We'll see what Dr. J thinks...

Today I have two classes and tomorrow both of my classes are canceled again. WHAT. That means I've only had four classes this week... no Russian or Ancient Egypt... and two three-day weekends in a row. Totally not complaining. Of course, the Russian Club dinner - my last! - is this weekend, which will suck up a lot of my time, but I'm okay with that.

On Tuesday I had a great conversation with Jeff. A little background: he's a country boy, religious, painfully straight, but surprisingly liberal. I came out to him late last semester and he didn't care, which kind of surprised me. Like, a lot. But yeah.

One of my big problems with my sexuality is that I have no one with whom I can talk about things relating to it. I have one gay friend (the type of friend that I only ever talk to in or outside class), one bi friend who (I think) has only ever dated girls and is dating one right now, and I'm simply not comfortable enough to be all "dude that guy is hot!" with any of my straight friends. In general, I simply don't talk about my sexuality outside this journal. Usually it doesn't really matter - I'll just go check out some gay porn and get all the gay I need without having to open my mouth - but sometimes I just want to talk about it. I don't know. Maybe I'm weird? Or just normal.

Tuesday broke that pattern. Jeff and I pretty much just talked about the gay thing and other good topics - e.g. socioeconomic levels of our home towns, religion, graduation, etc. It was the most open I've been in a long, long time. Possibly ever. And with a straight guy to boot! And then we had a similar conversation today, so that made me pretty happy as well. Yeah, that pretty much made my week.

Oh, and going back to this morning's work issue: it's a wonder how getting a little sleep - and therefore distance from it - manages to make things better. I don't think I mentioned this is my last entry, but one of my problems with that argument is that I had adrenaline pumping through me and I was literally shaking with rage. Now, I know I haven't met a lot of you in real life, but let's just say I am usually a very, very easygoing person. Some friends might say I'm pessimistic, but that doesn't negate the easygoing factor. I don't get mad, like, ever. This shaking with rage thing has only happened three times in the past, all of them when I was in high school and, obviously, a teenager: and, interestingly enough, every time happened when I was standing up for myself.

I think that's what I'm most proud of: I may have a lot of issues, but when it comes right down to it I stand up for what I believe in. And that's something I am so proud of.

In other news, long entry is long.

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Comments {8}

Heidi the Mighty

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from: hidthemyd
date: April 17, 2009 08:40am (UTC)
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its been awhile since I've checked up on your journal (and i apologize) but hey you aren't weird for wanting to talk about anything.... especially when its something as important as your sexuality. It's how you feel, and that is important. :)

Too bad you don't live here.... My dad is gay, my bestfriend/roommate is gay and my husband is Bi. :) so ya you'd have a few friends to relate with or hang out with :)

email or message me if you wanna chat :) i know im not there, but I am here (ears and eyes open.)

-heidi-

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Adam

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from: aodh
date: April 19, 2009 08:16am (UTC)
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Sorry it's taken me so long to reply to your comment... I haven't had internet access until just now. sigh.

No need to apologize! Life happens. Yeah, the place I live right now isn't exactly the most, um, open. It's smack dab in the Bible Belt. Whereabouts do you live? I seem to remember you living on the West Coast somewhere...? I'd love to have someone (anyone, haha) to relate with... although I can't imagine having a gay dad! That'd make coming out easy, I think!

Thank you so much for your offer... I might just take you up on it one day. :)

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Heidi the Mighty

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from: hidthemyd
date: April 19, 2009 11:56pm (UTC)
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I live in Oregon :D Near Portland. So we have lots of places and resources here... :)

Actually I came out to dad first, and he told me not to label myself as anything and just live my life. :) Then the next year he came out.... lol :)

he said I was the hardest person to come out to after the speech he had given me the year before.
:)

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Adam

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from: aodh
date: April 20, 2009 06:50pm (UTC)
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Ah! I knew it was on the west coastish! Portland is one of the places I'd like to live one day. Actually, the northwest is where I want to end up one day... if, and when, I come back to the US...

Your dad has a good point - not to label yourself and just to live your life Makes sense to me. :)

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Heidi the Mighty

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from: hidthemyd
date: April 21, 2009 12:28am (UTC)
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:) where you living now? I thought you were in the US?
:)
glad you agree with my dad, cause i do too :D

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Adam

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from: aodh
date: April 21, 2009 03:02am (UTC)
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I'm currently in (rural) Missouri for a few more weeks... but next year (starting in August or September) I'll probably be somewhere in Asia. Probably South Korea or Taiwan. Neither place is all that great for gays, unfortunately...

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Heidi the Mighty

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from: hidthemyd
date: April 22, 2009 07:43am (UTC)
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why are you going to be out there?

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Adam

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from: aodh
date: April 22, 2009 12:50pm (UTC)
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I want to teach English (as a foreign language), and you can make a lot of $$$ in Asia. I really want to pay off these college loans ASAP, haha.

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