Adam (aodh) wrote,

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An entry in which I have trouble getting my point across.

My life:
- I wrote a four page History paper in under an hour Saturday night.
- I was the only person to show up to Russian yesterday. That kind of pissed me off. Like, a lot.
- This evening I went for a run. It was below freezing. No one can say I don't have motivation.

On a more serious note:
Two things happened over the weekend. The first is that Amanda, my first friend in college and pretty much my best friend here, got engaged. It's not exactly a surprise; every time I've seen her this semester I've asked, "Are you engaged yet?" The other thing is that a friend from high school added me on Facebook. I use the word "friend" very loosely. I don't think we ever hung out outside of school. But, according to his Facebook, he is now married and has a kid. This absolutely blows my mind.

I am friends with a number of people who are engaged, in a serious relationship, married, and even have children. I find it so bizarre that these people - whom I have known since I was a kid - are playing these grown-up games. I just... don't understand it.

I have trouble picturing myself engaged, or married, or even with children, although I certainly wouldn't object to any of that happening one day. But I'm only 22. I feel like a kid myself. I can't imagine settling down at this age. There's so much life to live, and children and marriage would be a definite obstacle in, well, living freely.

I know that this is only the beginning, and sooner or later my friends will be dropping like flies as they settle into their lives and whatever. But as I intend to spend the next few years doing the complete opposite of "settling down", I'm starting to wonder if I ever will myself. And, as an extension of that, I wonder if I will ever feel like an adult.

I doubt it.
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