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ANGST ANGST ANGST

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July 28, 2008 | 12:00am
Mood: ANGST ANGST ANGST
Music: Lucero - Here At The Starlite

Here's a list of things that have kind of being worrying me as of late:

1) Tomorrow's test on participles. I know how to use them, I know how to form them, I know what they do and what they mean but goddamn it, I just can't come up with them off the top of my head! And you KNOW that the test will consist of nothing but that. So basically I'm going to fail miserably. That's kind of depressing. And unlikely. But depressing nonetheless.

2) Placing into fourth year Russian. My friend Jeff did this program last summer and managed to place into the fourth year with relatively little trouble, but we've been facebooking a bit recently and he told me about what the placement exam covers: participles, verbs of motion, and deverbal adjectives. First of all, deverbal what?! We'll be studying verbs of motion next week, as part of our last chapter. And participles, well, see above. He also said that oral skills are important. I can't fucking speak in any language, let alone fucking Russian! Christ, I really fucking hope I didn't waste my money to do this goddamn program. I also hope that I'll graduate on time. Fuck, I don't have the money or desire to do a fifth year of college. I mean, I'll end up going to Russia for my fifth year (might as well make it count...), but I don't know where I'll find the money. Christ. ANGST ANGST ANGST

3) What I'm going to do after college. Oh god I'm going to be entering the real world in t-minus 10 months (give or take a year or so). How the hell am I going to survive? I know how to put off studying and speak in tongues, and, uh, that's about it. I'm going to end up living in my parents' basement, I just know it. Okay, calm down, Adam. Focus on volunteering. Fixing the world. Optimism. Teaching shit to a bunch of ungrateful little brats. Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

4) ANGST ANGST ANGST

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Comments {11}

S

ack!

from: cloakandswagger
date: July 28, 2008 05:21am (UTC)
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*big hug*

Might your friend Jeff's program have been the one at Middlebury? A friend from my Russian class is taking that, and it's like, the third ring of hell. Except with Genetive Plural.

There's a lot of programs (especially for you cool foreign language speakers) for the first year after college, I think! And I swear to god language teachers have the pamphlets sewn to their skin for easy access if a student even blinks in such a way to suggest interest in them. Checking them out could be helpful! Give a few things for your 'NO WAY IN HELL!' list, at least.

And, good luck with your test. I mean, I realize that statistics show that saying that helps exactly [i]zilch[/i] with the exam, but still. Hope it goes well!

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Adam

Re: ack!

from: aodh
date: July 29, 2008 01:28am (UTC)
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Aw, thanks for the hug, and the luck! (And who cares if the statistics show it doesn't do anything? It's the good thought that counts!) :):)

No, the program Jeff did (and that I'm doing now) is at Indiana University - SWSEEL. It's not supposed to be as hardcore as Middlebury, but it's also $4000 cheaper, soo... yeah. haha

You're right, there are a ton of programs out there... and I have a folder on my computer with over 35 links to them, hahaha. I'm just a big worrywort is all. :)

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(no subject)

from: brittnik
date: July 28, 2008 06:15am (UTC)
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first off- good luck on your test! money ruins everything, shit.

and strong resonations with the last one! I may be a year behind you but Christ that's a frightening concept (and you're like the only person I've talked to that's really mentioned this at all, too, weirdly enough) --- I know you are really into language, have you thought about doing one of those programs where you teach English overseas? maybe you could get one somewhere in Russia! and then there are all those charity things you can do (overseas) and I know Russia is a big country for that. plus there is always the Peace Corps. and I'd like to do the Peace Corps myself but I think I'll pussy out.

ANGST! everything wil be okay, and if not I'll probably be also in a parents' basement somewhere. UNTIL 2012 AND THEN THAT'S IT :O

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Adam

(no subject)

from: aodh
date: July 29, 2008 01:36am (UTC)
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thank you! And yeah, money kind of sucks... a lot. It ruins everything. :(

And yeah, I worry a lot about the future (e.g. will I graduate on time? Will I ever get to Russia? Will I ever be in a relationship? Will I have a family? Will I not be a TOTAL FAILURE IN LIFE?!?! - you get the idea), but it really feels as if I'm the only one worrying about this right now. And yeah, I've thought a lot about the teaching English abroad programs (and I have a huge list of possible programs to which I'll apply during the next year...), and the Peace Corps is at the top of my list. Dude, if I get around to doing the Peace Corps, you can totally do it too. I mean, we're both like the same person, only, uh, completely different, hahaha.

If I'm in my parents' basement after 2009 I will probably slit my wrists. I mean. Seriously. (I love my parents, and we have a ridiculously good relationship, but HOLY CRAP I AM NEVER GOING TO LIVE WITH THEM AGAIN.) After 2009 (or 2010 sigh) I am never ever ever going to live with them again...

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Dani

(no subject)

from: danii
date: July 28, 2008 07:13am (UTC)
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*huggggs* Try not to worry so much.
Good luck on your test.
& everything will work out fine. Pinky promise. :]

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Adam

(no subject)

from: aodh
date: July 29, 2008 01:30am (UTC)
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*hug* thank you :)

I'm a bit of a worrywort... okay, maybe a "bit" is an understatement. Lately I've just been hanging out with people who've experienced The Real World (and not the tv show!), so I've been thinking about what'll happen to me after I'm 28 or 29... it's kind of depressing. And worrisome. But still.

Thanks again :)

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Bedlam boys are bonny

(no subject)

from: mad_maudlin
date: July 28, 2008 09:25am (UTC)
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Deverbal adjectives are just verbs filling the syntactic role of an adjective. You already know one, and that's любимый. There are two kinds, the passive (like -ed in English, "beloved wife") and the active (like -ing, "loving mother." Wow, those are some gendered examples.) In English, we don't pay attention to them because of our flexible syntactic categories, and in fact I've seen grammars that analyze them as transformations of relative clauses (beloved wife <-wife who is beloved) but in Russian there's a specific way to form them. And forming the active is a bitch. But you probably already know one of those, if you know следущий (from "to follow", uh...следить?). So that's two you already know. Don't sweat it.

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Adam

(no subject)

from: aodh
date: July 29, 2008 01:32am (UTC)
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Ahhh! That makes sense, I think... well, more sense that what I was seeing on the intarwebz. I'll have to do some more research based on what you've told me... bol'shoe spasibo! :):)

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bigcity_life

(no subject)

from: bigcity_life
date: July 28, 2008 11:47am (UTC)
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I learned Russian a bit 'coz my bf was Russian.. Too difficult language

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Adam

(no subject)

from: aodh
date: July 29, 2008 01:30am (UTC)
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Russian is really difficult, but that's part of what makes it so much fun - it feels so good conquering it. :)

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(Deleted comment)

Adam

(no subject)

from: aodh
date: July 31, 2008 11:05am (UTC)
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*angsts* :P

Thanks for the support. But yeah, I'm a total worrywart, so you're lucky that I'm only (only!) borrowing angst from 10 months ahead of time. I mean, if I didn't, I'd be freaking out even more about my current classes... which would probably kill me.

And you're welcome to the minions; if I had minions, I think I'd probably turn 'em all into ninjas by the end of the year. Which, come to think of it, probably wouldn't be that bad of an idea...

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