These are the depths to which I've sunk.
"There's no drinking, there's no swearing, body piercing is not accepted, do not dye your hair or tattoo. You must do what is expected. You may think only when told to. You may think only what they tell you. Stay within your culture, marry within your own race. Keep in mind that they may change the rules at any time and you must be aware of these changes. Be keen and smart and beautiful. Learn to have a family. Again, welcome to Life 101."
Call Me Alice - Life 101 (contrary to popular belief, this song is NOT by Rasputina.)
Music videos for the lesbian/straight man in you:
Simian Mobile Disco - Hustler (warning: this music video makes me want to reconsider my sexuality. Also: my favorite is the first Asian girl)
New Young Pony Club - Ice Cream (warning: this song is addictive)
Ferry Corsten - Punk (warning: this has been one of my favorite songs/music videos since the 9th grade. I don't know whether I like the blond guy at the bar or the snake-lady better. OH BOY)
On the plus side, at least I'm wearing more than just my boxers. That's always the sign of a successful day.