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next time, why don't i share how i really feel?

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November 14, 2006 | 10:13pm
Mood: mad
Music: Dandy Warhols - Plan A

My novel is shit. Shit shit shit. Why can't I write anything even remotely interesting? This should be where it gets exciting. I was looking forward to writing this. But... it's shit. Shit. Cunt. Cock. Rancid skullfucked piece of unwashed, over-used, and asbestos-covered meat curtain shit.

I barely studied for my French test today & I actually think that there's a chance I got a half-way respectable grade on it. Of course, I spent a few hours studying for my Phonetics quiz and I failed it. What. The. Fuck.

I need to write. I need friends. I need to get out of this miserable backwater shithole before I shoot myself. I need to leave the country. I need to learn more languages. I need to gain fluency in the languages I'm already learning. I need to accept my limits. I need to learn to become satisfied with mediocrity. I need to get over myself.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

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Comments {4}

(no subject)

from: noisey
date: November 15, 2006 03:14pm (UTC)
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"What the fuck is wrong with me?"

YOU WROTE AN OUTLINE, THAT'S WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!

lol quit planning and just write. you have your whole life to perfect the book, but if you aren't happy with the direction it's going then you won't ever get it finished. and is the point -- since you've won nanowrimo every time you've done it -- to finish, or to write something that you like?

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Adam

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from: aodh
date: November 15, 2006 06:23pm (UTC)
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my outline actually ended right about where i am in my story, and i've deviated a LOT. i generally use outlines as a method to remember what i thought might be interesting to write & in approximately what order it might be in.

i do nanowrimo because i have no motivation to write anything substantial throughout the rest of the year. also, hell, it's nice to see people actually interested in one of my stories--i write freaking amazing short stories practically every other week and the only person to ever read them is my mother, and only because i tell her to.

so, uh, i guess i do nanowrimo partially for the motivation to write and partially because i like the attention. good lord. i am the most shallow person in the fucking universe.

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(no subject)

from: noisey
date: November 16, 2006 12:47am (UTC)
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you're such a narcissist lol

so why not look at the book as a bunch of short stories with the same characters? or AN EVEN BETTER IDEA: why not quit telling yourself you suck!

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(no subject)

from: bizzybatman
date: November 15, 2006 05:37pm (UTC)
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The question is not what the fuck is wrong with you. The question is what the fuck is not wrong with you.

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