Adam (aodh) wrote,

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A long entry about nothing in particular.

Some background: on weekends, I work nights at the hall desk in my dorm. My job description involves watching you come home drunk, answering inane questions, and waiting until you go around the corner so I can insult you behind your back. Night Monitors have to deal with all sorts of shit: people darting past us and into the building, fire alarms, people throwing bike seats at the doors, and that godawful scent of old cigarettes and alcohol... needless to say, it's a pretty shitty job.

However, in my time working here, the type of person that I have grown to loathe the most is the Belligerent Sober Asshole.

The BSA is a person disliked by the vast majority of society. Why? Because they want to conform everything to their ideals. Think Fred Phelps of "God hates fags" fame. They cause multitudes of shit because they believe it is their god-given right, and so help them if they don't get the opportunity to make life awful for somebody else!

They always have some sort of twisted ideal, an ideal held only by fellow BSAs. They might think that this is for the good of society, but they never seem to realize that the only one benefitting is themselves. They are outspoken and often the sort of person most of us would consider "weird." They differ from the Belligerent Drunken Asshole because, well, they don't have anything to blame for being a ridiculous cunt.

Last night, a BSA came in with a group of buddies at about 11:30. He told us, "It's before 12:00, so we don't have to scan in, right?" Uh, no. It's 10:30 on, buster. He scanned himself--which was funny the first couple of times people did it, but when they don't realize we have to change the settings to accomodate for guests, it gets old--and moved on. He didn't tell us the other people were guests. He continued speaking, "I called ResLife specifically about this and they told me that the only people who have to check in before midnight are people who live off campus. Anyone who lives in the dorms doesn't need to check in until midnight."

"Uh... no. Midnight is when quiet hours start, NOT when checking in begins. We were taught to check everyone in from 10:30 on, regardless of where they live," I tried to check in a girl and it said she needed a host, so I continued with, "I need your ID again." He came back and swiped his ID. I said, "No, I need to change a setting before you do that." I change the setting, he swipes, I check in his guests. He said, "I'll contact them again about this."

Go right ahead, Belligerent Sober Asshole. Knock yourself out. But you know what? Don't try to do my job. I sit in front of a goddamn worthless machine doing an absolutely shitty job for hours upon hours in the middle of the fucking night. I went through the training. You didn't. Don't swipe yourself in, don't insist that you know the rules--you're wrong. You are starting shit based on a ridiculous ideal. How the fuck are we supposed to tell between people who live off campus and on campus without scanning them in? Guess what--you can't! If you really want random schmucks coming in off the streets and causing shit at 3 in the motherfucking morning, please, feel free to do this job. When you're fired on the first day, I'll just say "I told you so" and happily move on with my life.

Until then, Belligerent Sober Asshole, please consider slitting your wrists and maybe insert a bottle of beer up your ass. The stick needs some company, and at least then you would have an excuse to be a rancid cunt. :)

In other news: I now have a roommate, last night Amanda and I colored pictures of (goth!) Strawberry Shortcake & weird kittens while eating pizza and watching Spirited Away, and I introduced the girl I work with to Kelly and George Washington. She definitely LOLed. (We also watched the pilot episode of Supernatural on YouTube. Good show.)
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