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oh god I'm having another existential crisis

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September 30, 2006 | 01:45am
Mood: downs and ups

Have you ever sat down and realized that there is very little overlap between the things you're good at and the things you like to do?

For instance, I am amazing in English. My analyses are stunning, my insightful observations are eloquent, my creative writing is downright amazing. But that all bores me. The occasional analysis, a short story here and there--that's okay. Any more than that is a nightmare.

To continue this pathetic ego-stroking, I am also pretty good at learning foreign languages. French has its moments. Learning Italian was one of the easiest things I've ever done. Russian is difficult but entirely worth it. I love languages: I love speaking them, I love reading them--I love being able to communicate. I might not be good at it, but I love it nevertheless.

Of course, there's that nasty issue of how just knowing a foreign language probably won't result in a career, unless you have something else to bring to the table (e.g. engineering, business, political science). Hence the reason why I picked up the CMDS major: it led to a career, I could be a respectable part of society, I had a path in life. It didn't sound too awful. Of course, it's also incredibly boring and mind-numbing, but that's a completely different journal entry for a completely different day.


I'm not a people person. I'm not good at math or sciences. Politics are boring. 9 to 5 jobs sound downright depressing. Cubicles have had starring roles in my worst nightmares (right next to the family of giant vampire weasels and World War IV: America vs. Everyone Else). I enjoy learning new languages, traveling the world, learning about new cultures... but how am I going to experience any of that when I'm stuck in Assrape, Missouri?

The only thing college will be good for is getting a worthless piece of paper. It's not like I'm going to have a nice office job with 2.5 children and a white picket fence. Odds are, this time 10 years from now, I'll be teaching English in some obscure country, experiencing linguistic bliss, or trapped in a concentration camp in North Korea (or, fuck, Guantanamo Bay). It's a bunch of bullshit is what it is.

I just don't know what to do. And now I have to get ready for work, which is yet another reason why I need to drop out and join the Russian mafia.

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Comments {9}

Captain Kirby, a.k.a. Aranelle

(no subject)

from: _kirbylicious_
date: September 30, 2006 04:01pm (UTC)
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You sound exactly like I feel, just fast forwarded a couple years so the stress is exponentially increased. Honestly, I'd love to spend the rest of my life working in jewelry- selling it, managing a store, whatever. That's where I think I'd be happiest. So why am I in college getting an English degree? So I can have the token degree that puts me ahead of all the others that don't have one. You should IM me sometime so we can stress out together.

Learning Italian was one of the easiest things I've ever done.
Even though I've only been in the class for six weeks, I second this.

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Adam

(no subject)

from: aodh
date: October 2, 2006 02:32am (UTC)
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Degrees are lame. I really think I should just drop out and move to Russia or something. (& if we ever talk on AIM, I'll definitely go on more about this.)

Yes, Italian is easy. And fun. :)

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Captain Kirby, a.k.a. Aranelle

(no subject)

from: _kirbylicious_
date: October 2, 2006 03:30am (UTC)
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So I stayed in my room all day today doing nothing, and my brain broke. If you were online now I'd love to talk about it, because it'll help unbreak my brain.

Also, I'm starting to fall in love with French too.

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Adam

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from: aodh
date: October 2, 2006 11:47am (UTC)
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I swear to god, I was online like 15 minutes BEFORE you commented. (& then I got off so I could get to sleep & fight off this cold.) Now I feel like a schmuck.

French is love. :)

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Captain Kirby, a.k.a. Aranelle

(no subject)

from: _kirbylicious_
date: October 2, 2006 01:05pm (UTC)
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Don't feel bad, I went to bed right after I commented anyway. :)

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A

(no subject)

from: tiffbert
date: October 1, 2006 12:46am (UTC)
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Dude, i'm telling you. Cultural and/or linguistic anthropology

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Adam

(no subject)

from: aodh
date: October 2, 2006 02:29am (UTC)
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Thing is... anthro just doesn't interest me. Plus, Truman's anthro department sucks.

I already have a thought for a prospective major, so yeah...

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leslie

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from: loveofdaisies
date: October 1, 2006 05:58am (UTC)
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If it makes you feel any better, I'm not loving the COMD major either. I'm not sure if it's just because it's my first semester and holy scary and confusing and hard as shit, or if it's just not me.

I know that doesn't help any, but I thought I'd let you know you're not alone, lol.

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Adam

(no subject)

from: aodh
date: October 2, 2006 02:31am (UTC)
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Haha, it's nice to know I'm not alone... I'm really sucking in Intro, but my Phonetics class is relatively easy (for me, at any rate--everyone else complains about how difficult it is). I just don't find any of it as interesting as I thought it would be.

I'm thinking that the major just isn't for me... :/

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