October 24th, 2013

already dead

저를 어떤 사람이 사랑하고싶다

Two things happened today: my school asked everyone to invite friends to apply for jobs at our school for the next semester; and it was also revealed that my school is making huge, gigantic, insane changes next year. At first I thought, "I can't believe it, this is it, there's no turning back now." Then, upon hearing about the changes: "Oh, fuck this shit." I'm fleeing like a motherfucking bat on fire. Or whatever the simile is.

I guess I really need to get focused on this Korean/graduate school stuff. Should I start studying for the GRE? Does it even matter? Then again, do I even want to study Korean literature in grad school? It's an appealing thought, especially because I've always been, well, literature-oriented, but maybe this isn't what I should be aiming for. I plan to volunteer at (a) North Korean refugee organization(s) next year while I live in Seoul. I think doing something along those lines would be very fascinating and very rewarding. Then again, I also want to become the foremost expert on gender and sexuality in modern Korean literature. And I want to be fluent in 10 languages by the time I'm 40. And I want to become a professional translator. The options are endless. (And incredibly frustrating.)

I've been feeling kind of strange the last couple weeks. A weird thing happened to me - I haven't even written about it in my private log, let alone in an unlocked post like this - but it sort of changed the way I see myself. Everything feels sort of off-kilter.

A couple friends and I are talking about writing stories based on an idea someone else had. I have an overarching theme that I'd like to pursue, but nothing else. I haven't written anything of substance in ages. I'll give it a try, just to see if I can, but I'm not feeling too optimistic. Come to think of it, it might be interesting to recycle an idea I had way back in, oh, my senior year of university? Junior year? When did I take Russian Drama? I don't remember, but it would be fun to bring that story to life, particularly because it would work wonderfully with this prompt. Allez-y!
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