April 30th, 2012

this is me

In which MQ and I break up and I re-enter the dating world.

Hmm. A lot has happened in the last couple of days.

Saturday night MQ and I broke up. It wasn't necessarily a surprise - it's been on the horizon for some time - but it wasn't pleasant. I ended up going to Vanessa's, where I got horribly drunk and found out a lot of, ah, interesting things about my friends, and then downtown. I went straight to the gay bars at 1am where I spent a few hours talking with a nice military guy and singing karaoke together.

Sunday I was dead all day. Bad, bad hangover. I was just about to step out the door to meet Megan for a late lunch/early dinner at 3:25 when I went to puke. Oy. I still made it out, and puking made me feel better, but still. Total waste of a day.

Today I got my hair cut. I've been saving it for when I could meet Minkyu - I was going to treat it as a birthday present - but whatever. The cut isn't exactly what I wanted, but it's ok, but the stylist worked some magic with gel and now I have to figure out what I'm going to do with it. Do I put effort into my hair or not? :(

I downloaded a gay app on my phone and within 24 hours I received messages from 21 different guys. Are there more homos in this city than there used to be, or is showing a modicum of Korean ability reason enough to open doors? I don't know. Most are ignoring my plea of, "Friends or relationship only," but whatever. Of those 21 guys (more now, actually) I've narrowed it down to three who actually have potential. This doesn't mean I've found a new boyfriend yet or anything, but these three aren't starting a conversation with, "Are you a top or a bottom?" or "I want to see you at your house tomorrow~!^^" Eh, we'll see.

Here's the thing: thinking about dating makes me unhappy. By this I mean, "Fuck, I have to go through that shit again. Fuuuck." In spite of my new dating profile I don't necessarily want a boyfriend or sex or a relationship or anything right now. I just... want to meet new people and practice Korean. If something happens, then hooray. If not... oh well.

You guys, I just realized something: I think I've grown up.
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