January 8th, 2006

furious angels

mid-night angst

I have this sudden, burning desire to learn Dutch.

I don't want to go back to Truman. I don't, I don't, I don't. Why didn't I do the sensible thing--like Melissa--and just go to Oakton for second semester? Why must I force myself to accept mediocrity?

Second semester will be better. Second semester will be better. It has to be better, because if it doesn't improve, I'll begin to hate myself even more. And that, my friends, simply isn't possible. I never knew I could dread something quite to this extent. (My hatred toward AP US History and AP Bio didn't even come close to this shit.)

Official Life Goals: Live and Learn. (But shouldn't happiness be on this list as well? I can't put off happiness just because I want to Live and Grow and Become Free, can I? But am I happy? First semester can't happen again. It simply can't. I can't live like that again.)

I really need to take up drinking, drugs, and casual sex. That would make everything so much better. And hell, even if it didn't make everything better, it would at least be an improvement, wouldn't it?

Wouldn't it?
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    Letters To Cleo - Rimshak