October 20th, 2004

this is me

are you just a fool?

Funny quote from a fanfic:

"I'm sure that Viktor has had a very good reason for kidnapping her..."

I did more sleeping today. And I memorized 39 Biology stem-words. And I did my English journal. And I finished Death of a Salesman, which should have been done eons ago. This goes out to all my homies and homettes who also have Farrell: when is the in-class essay? I doubt it's on Friday, but I have been worrying that it will be, since I haven't actually (gulp) begun my study guide yet.

I will be going to school tomorrow. Oh, how I loathe school. Just (let me go find my assignment notebook) 227 days until I graduate from this godforsaken place. Not counting today. Yes, I did count out the number of days until I graduate while in Physics - thank you for asking.

Once I graduate, I will be able to officially Screw Around (tm). By this, I mean that I will not feel any pressure to go to school and get whatever degree. I mean, yeah, I do feel that pressure and I will be attempting to get a BA/MA/PhD/whatever, but I will be able to do everything on my own time. I will be able to live my life for myself.

This really isn't coming out as I had been hoping it would. I want the option of fucking my life up. Yeah, I already have that option, but not to the extent that I soon will.

That is good enough.

Do you know how I want my life to progress? Well, probably not... and I doubt that you even care. However, I obsess far too often... so here it is. I want to graduate from college with whatever degree (French and English being my majors of choice, though it depends on the school - if I go to IU it would be French and Middle Eastern Studies). And then, before I run off to get my MA, I would want to travel the world. We're talking about a person who has been as far away as Washington DC and Iowa before, so this is really important. I want to put my languages to use, and learn more; I want to go to France and Italy, Senegal and Syria, Turkey and Egypt, Korea and China. I want to experience life and get disgustingly poor while in the process. And then I can come back and get respectable... but, dammit, I have plans, and I refuse to divert from them. I expect that I will probably end up as a teacher someday. I want my students to say, "Gee willickers, Mr. Miller is the best gosh-darn teacher I have ever had!" and I want them to mean it. I want to make a difference in people's lives. I want to make my students obsess over A Room With A View like I did - I want to introduce them to the joys of French and whatever else.

I am such an optimist. Just wait: 10 years from now, I'll still be writing in this journal. I'll be a teacher in a dead-end job in the middle of Oklahoma. And then I'll kill myself.

Enough of that. I should go read another book before school tomorrow...
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this is me

i've been a very bad boy.


I want a penpal.

I don't care about if I know you or not. I don't care if you live in Des Plaines or in Thailand. I just want to write and have someone write back.

If this looks at all interesting, e-mail me with your address. Please. I beg of you. I'm lonely and have no life! SAVE ME.
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