July 22nd, 2004

no fear

i am actually a senile old man.

I was just watching Room Raiders, on MTV.

I feel so dirty.

Let me explain. See, I'm your average teenager... only, I don't watch television, I mock everyone, and I am so ardently against the concept of most of MTV's shows that it's not even funny.

Room Raiders features one man or woman, typically in their lower 20s, who go through three rooms of three people of the opposite sex. Once the wo/man has gone through the rooms, they make the decision of which person they would want to go on a date with, based solely on their bedrooms.

Now, this is a surprisingly reasonable dating show: typically, one's bedroom shows more about your personality than anything else. The problem I see with it is that, well, the wo/man makes his/her choice based on the most artificial things, and not on what really counts. Today: Sara, some HOTYOUNGCOED!!! turned down two guys: the first because he had a small shoe size, the second because he had a drawer full of video games and supplies.

I will admit this: I don't see the point in playing video games when you're above the age of 13, but that's just my opinion. I've never been a fan of video games. The majority of my friends, guys and gals, play them. [Losers!] My shoe size is pretty large (12 to 15, depending on the shoe), but basing your refusal on someone with small feet? What the hell?

All three guys had porn links on their computers and porn magazines (Playboy, Hustler). Yeah, I understand you want to masturbate... but jesus. If I was that girl, I would have chosen who I wanted to go on a date with based on who had the least number of pornos. Then again, that girl had a stack of Playboys herself, so who am I kidding?

Am I the only person from my generation who is not interested in sex, masturbation, or dating? Am I really a completely unusual person in this MTV world? And, the most important question: am I really a teenager?

Shit, don't answer that.
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