April 19th, 2004


let's break on down

Starting with my sleep last night... I woke up at about 12:30 (less than an hour after I fell asleep), soaking with sweat. I turned the fan on and went back to sleep.

I woke up the usual number of times (five million) before I got up for good. I went to the bathroom, began to pee... and realized that there was a fucking waterbug (mini-cockroach) on the wall. Fuck. So I finished peeing, got it killed, and showered.

Skipping forward a bit: my father and I stepped out of the house - me with my Italian poster, him with his keys. We began walking. The wind was so strong that it kept on pushing the posterboard back and forth, resulting in the glued-down pictures and words to unglue themselves. I ran back into the house, went down to the basement, got the gluestick, and ran back out to the car. I sat down in the car when I realized, "Fuck! I forgot the goddamn cell phone!" So I ran back to the house, opened the door - and discovered that Bear had peed right in front of the fucking door. The worst part? I had stepped in it on my earlier jaunt. Fantastic. I get back to the car and my father told me that he wasn't going to pick me up at school today.

First period was reviewing for the Trig test tomorrow. I will fail, but I actually got a fairly large number of the problems right [!]. That is a step in the right direction. I talked to Kayti for the first time in a few weeks during homeroom. Mme Labbe outlined the rest of the school year - basically, we're done with the class by memorial day, due to the class having so many seniors. Nice.

Italian was more stupid past tenses and the presenting. We went up, Andrew broke a map, and chaos ensued. It was ridiculous. History was the same as always. Lunch was pathetic. Outdoor Ed was yadayada.

In English, we had another partner "quiz." My partner for the last quiz was Ryan Cohn, so we partnered up again. Now, I am perfectly willing to keep an open mind on everything and everyone. However, Ryan Cohn is a blooming imbecile. He's perfectly nice and intelligent and whatever, but I swear to God, his only purpose for existing is to be contrary. He is my complete antithesis. But hey! At least someone else thinks I'm a freak for finishing View weeks before we actually have to. What a successful class.

Chemistry was notes and a lab. My group kicked ass, of course. As always.

After flap, I began walking home. I got about a third of the way there when my father pulled up. I get into the car and he says, "Oh, I could have picked you up at the corner of Golf, but I was busy talking to the Mexicans at Charcoal Delights." Thanks, dad. You're the best.

So now I'm in the process of dreading my AP tests. Oh my fucking God two weeks from today and I will have already had my English test. Two weeks from Friday will be History. Oh my God oh my God oh my God. I am an idiot. I have not studied. My teachers are tossing tests at me like I'm a baseball player, and I'm missing, missing, missing. I am screwed.

And next week is the ACT/PSAE/what the fuck ever tests. I found out that Victor got, like, a 34 on his ACT, which is making me feel completely stupid. That is ridiculous. I am an idiot.

But oh my Gooooooooooooooooood fuck kill me kill me kill me. I can't do this stupid AP test I can't do either of them my whole year has been a waste I have lost sleep for no reason for the last few months and oh my God fuck fuck fuckfuckfuckfuck

This entry has been a preview of what the next few weeks will be like. If you would like to remove me from your friends list until May 7, you will be safe from my various panic attacks. Trust me - there will be panic attacks.

I think I'll ditch the stupid History review session on Thursday to fill in the AP test stuff. It's not like I'll do that well on the Honors Exam anyway.

I checked the scale about a half hour ago, and I am officially the lowest I have been in about two years! (By 0.5 pounds, but you know.) Considering how I have eaten nothing but crapcrapcrap for the last few weeks, and exercised an extremely low amount, that is excellent. Of course, I expect (pray/hope) that I will lose even more, what with the potential walking to and from school every day thing. More on that on Wednesdayish.

Oh God stupid AP stupid stupid.
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