February 29th, 2004

this is me

sassy sauce

"My mouth said wow, but my head said 'how?'"

I have been (attempting) to figure out my birthday list today. I have approximately 30 CDs and 20 books on it. Hm. It's kind of pathetic, really.

My 17th birthday is in 22 days. Twenty fucking two. I will be seven fucking teen. Can you believe that? I met Belle just two weeks after I turned 12, I got this journal several months after I turned 14, and I will turn 18 next year. I'm getting old.

I will be going to college in a year and a half. I will be approximately four months too young to vote in the next election - where I would vote Democratic, no matter who the nominee will be. I will graduate from high school in 2005 and from there on out my life won't be all nice and orderly. I will be 20 in 2007, 30 in 2017, 40 in 2027, and 50 in 2037. My parents will die, my friends will die, I will die.

I like to imagine death as being what it's like to fall asleep. You close your eyes and the blackness envelopes you. No matter how agnostic or atheistic I am, I wouldn't mind that Nirvana that Christians say will come. I just doubt it. Whatever.

This is the lamest journal entry I have ever written. I am so, so sorry.

If it's any consolation, I'm starving: on the Food channel, they have the National Barbecue Cook-Off. The food looks delicious. I want barbecue sauce.
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    apologetic