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연애를 원하는 것에 대한 이야기

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July 9, 2015 | 08:34am
Mood: contemplative

I should probably be reading my 문학개론 book, but I'll discuss this with myself instead: Gay and can't find a partner?

The article basically boils down to what modern-day philosopher Rupaul preaches: "If you don't love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love somebody else?"

Here's the thing: I do like myself, on an overall level. I think that some of what the article discusses is accurate: I do not think Jack'd or Grindr are good places to meet someone romantically. That being said, there aren't any other ways to meet people in Jeonju. I suspect the best way to meet someone would be through a friend, or a friend of a friend. Of course, I'll soon be in Seoul and able to join clubs and activities in an attempt to meet people/contribute to the gay community in whatever way I can. (I just hope I can keep this resolve once I'm actually in Seoul.)

On the other hand, I do think that Korea's situation is a bit different. This is not a country meant for long-term relationships. I am a foreigner - and not particularly attractive (although I'm not particularly ugly, either) - and that limits my options. Another issue, I've come to realize, is my personality. You either love me or hate me. I'm outspoken and often speak before I think. Plus, historically, I have never really had many guy friends. Growing up I had, what? Kris, Kevin, Justin. University was Jeff and Chris. Korea... Minkyu, Nick and Bong? That's it. Consider the number of girl friends I've had over the years: Katie, Katie, Katie, Karri, Kara, Amanda, Amanda, Jodi, Megan, Megan, Tiffany, Kay, Alyn, etc... I've never really been able to make guy friends. This is another issue.

I also think that what the article says, in part, is correct: I may sabotage myself, based on my attitude. "I don't know why I'm still single," "I'm just unlucky," etc. My situation is complicated but I may be ruining my prospects myself. I am hoping that by exercising frequently/slimming down a bit and by focusing (obsessing?) over my graduate school studies, I'll be able to move my focus off of my perpetually single state. By doing this I may be able to fulfill that old saying: thing happen when you least expect them. I'll cross my fingers.

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