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June 19, 2015 | 09:40pm
Mood: tired

I'm not going to go into this in much depth, but on Tuesday (shortly after that last post, actually), I was taking a walk and got hit by a car. I'm okay - not even sore - but since I wasn't in the right state of mind, I didn't jot down the license plate number, and there weren't any surveillance cameras, so it was a hit and run. Since I'd already been in a bad mood - on the phone with my mom, ranting about the TOPIK, actually - I got hit and snapped. I started screaming at the driver and made a big deal out of it. Hopefully I terrified the asshole, who shouldn't have been turning when it was a pedestrian crossing anyways. It was kind of a nice way to top off a shitty day.

This has not been the best year of my life.

I'm kind of reaching my "do or die" point. I'm reading non-stop. I'm writing non-stop. I'm studying non-stop. Exercising twice a day. I want to be amazing at Korean, and not fail out of graduate school. I went to the international office today to tell them that no, I wasn't going to sign up for a special class, because Fitness isn't going to help me improve my Korean, and movie discussion class isn't anything I can't do on my own. I was very angry (a theme in my life lately?) and told the office worker that I will talk to whichever boss I need to talk to if I must - this program is not helping me, and the only thing that will help my Korean improve at this point is to work by myself. I have no idea if anything will come of it, but I don't even care at this point.

Frankly, I'm toying with the idea of dropping out of the program. My Korean is not good enough for graduate school. Period. I don't want to struggle because of my language skills; I want to struggle because the content of my courses is difficult. I doubt I'll drop out, but hopefully the shear quantity (and, hopefully, quality) of studying I intend to do between now and the beginning of the next term will vanquish these concerns. If I do this right, I think my writing and reading skills will be at the so-called "advanced" level before August 31. Not so sure about the rest of my skills, but I think I can raise those skills if I continue what I'm doing. (Which is writing 2-3 essays a week, having my teacher check them, rewrite, and then having my teacher correct that. Also, reading... a lot.) I don't think I'll manage to get a 5 on the TOPIK by this time next month, but if I can be fairly confident with my reading skills by August 31 I'd be thrilled.

Anyways. On an unrelated note, Bong is moving to Daejeon this weekend, which is sad, because he's probably my best friend these days. He's can be weird and a bit of a jerk, but he's MY weird jerk, so I'll miss him. Fortunately Daejeon is 1.5 hours from Jeonju and 1 hour from Seoul.

I'm tired. This has been such a long week. I want to lay in bed with a trashy book and read until I fall asleep, but I feel like I should start up a new Korean book (이상의 날개? 하성란의 촛농 날개?). Angst.

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Comments {2}


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from: ladyequinox
date: June 20, 2015 04:57am (UTC)

OMG, I can't believe you got hit by a car!

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from: aodh
date: June 20, 2015 12:48pm (UTC)

I vaguely remember Nigel telling a story years ago about how he got hit by a car, and the only thing that happened was that his watch broke. I may not have remembered the story correctly, but that's essentially what happened to me, haha :)

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