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이번 주 중간고사....

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October 20, 2014 | 09:04pm
Mood: thoughtful

Midterms are this week.

This time around in my academic life I've found myself to be quite the perfectionist/overachiever. I'm in class for 4 hours a day, I go home and study another 4, I have a speaking class for 1, and I watch (at least) 1 hour of Korean TV. 10 hours a day of Korean. Sometimes more, depending on the day. If I don't get a perfect score on an assignment or a test I find myself quite frustrated and a bit sad. "Why didn't I do better?" I ask myself. "I knew the answer, I just made a stupid error!" (Trufax.)

However, in spite of this, scores don't mean anything for me, in my situation as a KGSP student. Really, they don't. Scores in this program matter only in so far as they give me the opportunity to advance to the next level of classes. A 60-70% is required to pass; my test scores have been among the best in the class, so it has become quite obvious that I don't need to worry about that. I also don't need to worry about the TOPIK exam; I already have a 3 and that's what's required to move on to my graduate program at the end of this year. While a 5 or, ideally, a 6 will be my ultimate goal (extra 10만원 a month bonus plus bragging rights), it doesn't matter.

The conundrum with which I find myself confronted at the moment is this: how do I reconcile my desire for perfection with the fact that scores don't matter, but my skills do? I'm still studying a huge amount, but I'm not worrying as much about getting a perfect score. At least, I'm trying not to worry. I am not going memorize my essays, although that would probably help me on this exam; I am also not going to obsess over seeking out obscure words that probably won't appear on the midterm. I am, however, going to study everything and when I'm tired of doing that, take a big chill pill, in the form of old episodes of 도전 수퍼모델 코리아.

When it comes down to it, exams, obviously, don't matter. In reviewing for this exam I have discovered that I am already actively using - or capable of actively using - the vast majority of the grammar from the first 5 chapters of this textbook. And that, I think, is the most important thing of all.

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Comments {2}

AnnaSerene

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from: annaserene
date: October 22, 2014 03:43am (UTC)
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it's awesome that you're learning so much and spending a lot of time with Korean! for years I've wanted to do things like that but I have yet to get around to it... :/
I also get obsessed with scores and grades, and become a perfectionist when I take foreign language classes. The problem, however, is that I notice my grade is higher than my skill level. Meaning that I may get great grades, but I feel that my actual skill level (namely speaking skills) don't quite reflect that... the way I study tends to work well for acing quizzes, but not for long-term acquisition =/
It's a good sign that the things that bring down your score are just mistakes. It's frustrating but you seem familiar enough with & able to understand the material ^^

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from: anonymous
date: October 22, 2014 12:05pm (UTC)
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yeah, I've always been good at getting good scores in language classes, but actually using the language in the real world - not so much. I'm attempting to improve that now, but I find it hard to believe that I'll be at a high enough level in a year to be able to handle graduate level classes in Korean... but... who knows? :/

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